Dress Up.

I looked at all of the little dresses that my girls have outgrown with a little bit of nostalgia. There is Katie's first birthday dress, first Easter, first Christmas, I have saved them all, as well as all of Alyssa's special dresses. I wondered as I stood there in the closet I was supposed to be cleaning where on Earth the time had gone. Could it be possible that I have one that will be graduating high school next year?
I began to put them order from first to last, from smallest to the last dress, the prom dress Katie wore just last year. My fondest wish is to always buy my girls pretty dresses and hair bows, and patent leather shoes. but they will not allow it any longer. Katie wants to buy her own clothes and she does a nice job of it but no matter how sophisticated she looks, when I see her I always see the little girl in the tiny dress with her hair in a little bow.
When school picture day came around Alyssa and I would spend hours trying on all the dresses in the closet. Since Katie had so many, Alyssa would have all of those that I had saved plus all her own to choose from. Finally one would be chosen and all the rest would be put away until the next special occasion.
This year was different, though. At eleven years of age she has become quite the tomboy. She wants nothing to do with any old (or new) dresses. She doesn't want me to help her with her hair or with her clothes. Much to my dismay, when she was exiting the car a few days ago, she left a parting shot in answer to a question about when school pics were coming. "And Mom", she said, "No more fancy dresses!" and slammed the car door and ran off.
I was left with a feeling of having lost something as I watched her enter the school. Maybe it was my sense of purpose. My purpose all these years has been to mother these children but they are clearly not needing my nurturing much anymore. Now days my mothering consists of support in the way of attending pep rallies, football games, one act plays,school parties, and awards ceremonies.
I'm sure that when they have all gone on to live their own lives I will find a new purpose, one that will keep me busy and fulfilled. But every now and then I am sure I will find myself in the closet rearranging all the dainty dresses and remembering...