November 20

 November 20. Almost in the books. I can't believe it's only ten days until Thanksgiving. I determined that I need some changes, and so I set my alarm for seven AM, determined to get up earlier, and to make better choices in just about everything. It seems that I have been slipping, in just about everything and it's time to get back on my horse. \So I got out of bed at just a few minutes after eight (Hey I made an effort, at least I set the alarm) and had a moment of panic about my inability to make even the simplest changes. And then I got over it. 

I will make some changes. But I'm not going to beat myself up all day because I got out of bed later than I wanted. 

I took Beau out in the morning rain for his morning whizness and reflected on how beautiful everything is looking. At long last the back yard trees are turning a deep orange. The big tree over the garage has now completely disrobed, and is naked. There was no sound, save the falling rain. It was lovely. 

Back inside, Beau fed, coffee in my cup, thanks to the Mr., who was up before me this morning. He also is making changes. He has been getting out of bed early, lifting weights and showering before starting the day. I must say it is quite pleasing to see him making strides toward good mental and physical health, these days. 

I jumped in behind him, and washed my hair. Standing in front of the mirror I noticed again that something weird is going on with my hair. It's unsettling. The last color treatment I had was about six months ago, and my new hair, instead of coming in my normal dishwater blonde with gray highlights, is coming in brunette. It's bizarre. I have never had dark hair. Even Katie noticed it. I'm not sure what to think about it. 

I had a long talk with the Lord about the changes I want to make. I am tired of doing things that either make me feel worse after having done them, or things that are time wasters. I don't want to waste my time. The Bible has a lot to say about believers having to be accountable for what they did with their lives. All of the things we did, whether for the Lord, or not, are going to lit up with a consuming fire. What will be left standing? Will anything be left standing? Will I be ashamed of how little I did on Earth that has eternal value? Lately I have begun to evaluate things in a real time. That is, as I am doing something, whether it's art, or watching television, I'm internally asking myself is what I'm doing right now a burn thing or a standing thing? Now obviously there are going to be burn things. Being human, that can't be avoided, but will the major content of my life be wood, hay, and stubble, or something built on the Rock of Christ, that won't burn. 

I know I am going to Heaven, but I don't want to be snatched out of a burning fire with nothing to show for the life God gave me. 

So I made a list of things that I am not going to do, things I am going to do less, and things I need to do more of. 

1. I am not going to the casino anymore. I like the casino. I love the slot machines. But it is not the place for me. We have been a few times in the last couple of years, and by few times, I mean about once every couple of months. And we really haven't lost anything. Well, except for this last time, we lost a couple of hundred bucks. But it has no eternal value. It's a burn thing. And I hate the way I feel when we leave. Even when we win I feel dirty. 

2. Arguing with the Mr. This week we have argued more than usual. Sharp words have been shouted, feelings have been hurt. Tears have been shed. I hate that. 

3. Fried food. I really, really love it. Until I don't. Yesterday I ate a plateful of fried pickles, french fries, chicken wings, fried mac 'n cheese, cheese sticks, all with ranch. Afterwards I felt sick. I'm tired of that. I know I can't entirely eliminate fried foods, but for the sake of my poor arthritic knees, I am going to do my best. Also mindless television. I have talked about it before. I sit for hours and watch the boob tube, and wonder the whole time why I am watching it. Definitely a burn thing. I have better things to do with my life. I am going to watch less. I hate the way my mind feels fogged up after watching three hours of COPS. Also, sugar. Of course as I write this, I am seeing myself fifteen minutes ago as I grabbed a mini nugget of chocolate from the candy jar on my way out of the dining room. 

Things I am going to do MORE of. 

1. Keep attending church. We have been two whole weeks in a row, and it's been OK. Actually pretty good. Even the Mr. is enjoying it. 

2. Love more, fight less with the Mr. What can I do to make your day better and ultimately your life? should be my attitude towards him, and hopefully his towards me. If two people are intent on selflessly serving the other, how can a marriage fail? But both parties must participate, or it's just slavery. More of this. 

3. More art, more music, more writing. God the creative creator gives creative gifts to his children. I am into this. 

4. More Biblical study. I love studying the Bible. When the Mr. was sick and bedridden, I spent hours most days reading and researching. There is nothing I like better than digging out the gold nuggets found in the pages of the Word. Because we read it in English, and it was written in Hebrew and Greek, with some Aramaic thrown in, we miss so much. But when you take the time to look up the meaning of the original words, you may find something entirely different, or something that has great depth, when on the surface it seemed mundane. I have found that there is nothing mundane about the Bible. It is like a really, really big onion. Every time you read something you peel off a layer. Then you read it again, and there is another layer. You learn something entirely new, that wasn't apparent last time you read it. You could read it eternally, over and over, and you would never stop learning something new. It is amazing, and I could go on and on. I have let the studying get away from me. I was learning the names of the 26 ancient Hebrew letters and their meanings when I slacked off. I don't think I will ever be learned enough to actually read Hebrew, that is way beyond me, but I can recognize a few words. 

So...after all this introspection, and my conversation with the Lord, I was struck with a fantastic idea! I have been working on restoring and adding to Katie's little "choir" and this weekend, will finally see the end of that project. Or will I? HA. Where will I put them when they are finished? On the mantle? On the piano? With the manger scene? It occurred to me that these little people need their own little village! YES! A Dicken's village! A backdrop! 

I know, this is really getting out of control. But I am loving this idea SO.MUCH. I wasted no time. I googled some clip art of some Dickens type villages, and started drawing. And I had. so. much. fun. 

But it didn't initially come out exactly like I was hoping. My markers weren't exactly the right color. I was looking for some pale colors, but my sharpies are too dark. So I ordered some pastel sharpies and they will be here tomorrow. I made a Victorian looking church, but I didn't finish it. I am going to use it as a template and make a better church and maybe a couple of Victorian houses. 

While I was in the midst of trying to figure this out the Mr. came in the office and stood behind my chair. He tried to get my attention, and then I saw him. He was standing behind me with an armful of white Star Lilies. For me? Aww...you better believe I gave that man a kiss on the lips. 

After that he grilled steak while I cooked the broccoli and air fried some red potatoes. I watched some TV, I mean I have to have my Chateau Diaries on You tube. The day was bookended with taking Bo out for the last time today. It's still raining. Beautiful end to a beautiful day. 

I'm excited for tomorrow, when the markers arrive. Meanwhile, I took a few photos today. I took some pictures of the china cabinet, with the new vignettes I made of each grandmother with her china, now passed down to me, with a photograph of each, and the pretty table, all ready for Thanksgiving. Looks like we will have the Baby Grands next week for a day or two, as they are out of school, and their dad has a work trip. I should have a lot to write about then.