Miracle

 

George Bailey made me cry. 

I had a terrible night last night. I couldn't sleep. I was up every hour. I knew I needed to be up early and off to the hospital. I was eager to see how things were going with the Mr. and to hear the latest news from the doctor but I was wiped out. The last couple of days I had been at the hospital for 12 hour stretches and it showed in the circles under my puffy tired eyes. Looking at myself in the mirror at three, and then four, and then five AM, I didn't know how I was going to pull off a day in the hospital with no sleep. 

But I was so glad I did. The Mr. was so happy to see me. And the improvement was amazing. In fact miraculous was the word the doctor used when he came in a while later. A miracle. From death to life, he said. And The Mister's pink cheeks were a testament to his statement. His face hadn't had good color in it for over a year. In fact, yesterday I had gone out of the room and when I came back I had noticed his eyes were different but I couldn't put my finger on it. Have you been crying? I asked him, to which he replied no... why? I kept looking at him. And then it dawned on me. His eyelids were flushed! The rosy color was returning to his face, because the new liver was working like a champ. 

A miracle. The doctor had said in his animated way. People with O blood take the longest to get a donor liver. The fact that you came in sick a month ago, and the doctors here were able to get you well, and then just a few days later to have a donor, while you are at your healthiest...it's a miracle. You are doing everything right and I don't even have anything for you today, I got nothin' he said as he walked cheerfully away. 

A holy hush fell over the room after he left. The Mr. slept. I sat in the chair by the bed and rested my head on the bed rail and just silently thanked God. His presence overwhelmed me as I sat there, tired as I was, far from home, unsure of anything except that He was with me. with US. A With Us God. With us in our problems, with us in our trials, with us in our victories. There is no deeper satisfaction than knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is on our side. He is for us, not against us. I keep thinking of Psalm 126. My favorite because I lived it once, ten years ago. When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion, we were like ones who dreamed. It seemed so unreal. Then were our mouths filled with laughter, and our tongues with singing. Then they said among the nations, The Lord has done great things for them! The Lord has done great things for us, and we are glad! I felt like that when we returned from Salinas to Texas. There was such great joy. In fact I had never experienced such great joy. Until today, that is. I sat in my car for a minute after leaving the Mr. tucked up in bed, pink cheeks and all, and just thought about it for a few minutes. It's like a dream. I can't get over it. It's like we struggled so long to keep our heads above water in the turbulence of his diagnosis and then suddenly we are in a calm post transplant oasis of peace. It's done. It happened. It still doesn't feel real. I'm almost giddy with joy. It occurs to me that I am living this wonderful verse for a second time. 

I left the hospital in the late afternoon and headed back to the hotel and bed. I slept deeply until about nine O'clock, and then woke up to find George Bailey on my TV screen in desperation as his life crumbles around him. The house, the kids, the job, it's all coming down and crashing down around George. I watched for the next half hour as he loses and then regains all he lost and more and I can't help but see the obvious parallels. There is something so deeply heartwarming about seeing George realize what he had all along and that he has a second chance. From death to life. I have always loved that movie but I don't think I have ever felt that movie like I did tonight. Maybe I am just overemotional. Maybe it's something about being here at Christmas. Or maybe it's that we have our own Christmas miracle going on here. We are not taking it for granted. The doctor also told us that there is another person awaiting transplant in the hospital, someone with A blood, and a much higher MELD score. (MELD is Model for End Stage Liver Disease, and is determined by your lab numbers. The higher the number the sicker you are). That person has been waiting much longer for a donor liver. Of course now we are praying for them to have a Christmas miracle, too (and also for the family who lost their loved one, so that Tommy could live). 

Maybe I am not overemotional after all. In so many ways this whole situation mirrors THE Christmas story. Emmanuel. God with us. In Hebrew it is Imm Anu El. Three words. With Us God. A With Us God who gave His life so that we could live, truly live. Amen to that!