The Secret Life of Ornaments

I woke up today and went downstairs, and Hallelujah it was WARM in the living room. Too warm, actually, so I turned off the heater, took out the dogs, and started taking apart the Christmas tree. This is no small feat, as the thing is normally nine feet tall and loaded with every sort of ornament you can imagine. This year however, we put it in the dining room, which has a raised floor, so we left the bottom third of the tree in the garage, but it was still no small endeavor. It took us three days to decorate it, and most of the day to take it apart and stow all the ornaments in their various enclosures. This year I had the brilliant idea to store all the like types of ornaments in baggies instead of just throwing everything higgledy piggledy in a box together. Most years I am so anxious to be done with the chore that I don't care, except for the precious ornaments. I always try to take good care of those.

So all the gum wrappers (from a Christmas past in which there were very few real ornaments) went into a baggy, all the sports memorabilia ornaments into a baggy, all the Jack in the Box heads, all the plastic icicles, all the work name tags, all the graduation tassels, clothespin people, all the small ornaments the kids have made over the years sorted and bagged to make it easier next year when we drag it all out. And I was able to get almost everything in one box, which meant a lot less carrying loads back and forth from house to garage. The manger scene is all packed away, Shepherds, wise men, and baby Jesus (missing one arm) along with Mom and Dad. Four crystal angels Mom gave me a few years ago, and the one gnome that has been a part of our family Christmas since before I was born complete the scene. He has always worshiped at the manger as long as I have had him. He's an ugly old fella but he has a good heart. In the box I packed a new addition to the manger. The miniature star topper that used to crown our four foot tree was re purposed this year as the star above the stable. A happy accident as I plugged it into the socket next to the mantel to see if it still worked, and promptly decided to give it a new home. 

So out it all went. As I closed the garage door on the last box and walked back into the house I was breathing sighs of relief that this big chore was finis. Done. On to other things. I moved the kitchen table back into the dining room where the tree had been, steam cleaned the carpet. Rearranged my coffee lounge, which had become a home for all of the extra antique serving dishes I have no room for in the dining room at the moment. Fixed dinner. Cleaned it up. Had a shower. And then my mind started to wander. I started laughing out loud. What if our Christmas ornaments, alone and lonely in the dark garage for another year, were to come to life when we shut the door. Kind of like Toy Story. 

What would our Christmas ornaments say? I giggled out loud as I imagined Mary, pondering in her heart where in the world she put Jesus other arm...Now where was the last place I had it...Joseph is wondering how he ended up in the ring of onlookers this year, instead of inside the stable, cause nobody knows how to tell him apart from the wise men and shepherds, and he is also secretly worrying about how much that electric star above the stable is costing him to run 24 hours a day for a whole month. 

The work name tags, can't say anything but their names. They just say Hi! I'm Kathleen! Hi! I'm Kathleen! (Kathleen is my Aunt.The name tags were hers a long time ago) The bacon (from my former job at Jack in the Box) is trying to stay away from the paper Crocodile Matthew made in the second grade, you know the one. His teeth are painted in red glitter as if he just had a scrumptious meal. The monk and nun clothespin people spend all their time chanting. This year they were promoted from tree to manger scene. Most years we spend a lot of time picking them off the floor and lower branches where they have fallen, since they don't have hooks. They are usually just perched in the tree somewhere. I can hear their faint chanting...if I strain my ears. Beans don't burn on the grill...Took a whole lot of tryin...just to get up that hill...Movin' on UP!

All the Barbie birthday cake toppers would be talking Valley Girl, in a complete jumble of incomprehensible chatter to each other, and admiring the Trevor Hoffman baseball card, which was also promoted this year, to the top portion of the tree, because he is getting really, really CLOSE to getting in the Hall of  Fame...(Ha see what I did there? CLOSE and he's a CLOSER...)
Oscar the grouch would be grouching at Big Bird, because she lost the birthday cake when she fell out of the tree. Fortunately, though, when the tree was put away, it was found on the floor and put in the box, so at least nobody will be going hungry this year.
The Jack in the Box is praising God. That clown has been a smiling fool, since he found Jesus.  And Chuckie (think Rugrats) is wondering what happened to Angelica and Tommy. They haven't been seen in years. He's really a-scared! Will they ever make it home? Meanwhile he hangs out with the circus animal cake toppers. They are a friendly sort. And the seal knows how to spin a ball on his nose! Later on he might get enough courage to get on the motor scooter ornament and see if he can find his friends.
The icicles are making everybody cold, and the medieval music troupe is playing a tune for the Rudolph twins, one missing and eye, and the other an antler. 

Cookie Monster would take on the Crock...and win...And then they would all be friends. Tony Gwynn would knock one out of the park for Jesus. And Trevor would say there is only one who really belongs in the Hall of Heavenly Fame...Pudge would bow the knee, but not to catch the ball...

So long guys...til next year.

Tony and Pudge

Hi, I'm Kathleen!

Barbie Girls. Big Bird still has her cake here. 

                                                         We're moving on up...
                                     .

                                                       Jack Praising Jesus

                                                 Now where did I put that arm?

                                                      Heh heh heh...