Adventures in Coffee

I had never been so comfortable in my life. I was half asleep in my brand new king sized bed with the pillow top mattress (and a second pillow top on that) surrounded by fluffy white pillows and thinking about my new year's resolutions. My internal musing was cut short by the dog on his short little legs stretching up from the floor to tell me it was time to wake up and go outside.
I reluctantly rolled off my new three hundred count white cotton sheets and reached for the leash. He was full of energy and ready to go. We went downstairs and as I took him into the yard to let him run around inside the fence I noticed a big fat squirrel up in my gable thirty or forty feet above me. How did he get in there? He was wedged in between the gable slats, with his head outside, his body inside, and his tail sticking out on the bottom. Knowing there was nothing I could do to dislodge him since he was way out of my reach (not that I would go near him anyway) I halfheartedly picked up a couple of rocks and threw them in his direction hoping they would scare him off. He didn't budge. I yelled at him for a minute then shook my fist and gave up.
I came inside to start the coffee. I reached for the basket that still held yesterday's grinds and walked over to the trash to empty it. Problem. The garbage from New Year's Day was overflowing. I carefully placed the grounds on top of the pile and walked back over to the coffee pot and began to fill it with water, with the intention of grabbing a new trash bag on the way. As the pot was filling with water I grabbed the full trash bag to lift carefully out of the can so as not to spill the grounds I had placed so precariously on top and began to lift. As I lifted the bag out I noticed that someone had placed a broken glass bottle of some kind of coconut liquid (Arizona Tea?) in the bottom of the trash can. Since the bottle was full when dumped this left a milky mess on the bottom of the trashcan. As I concentrated on not getting the broken glass everywhere I failed to notice the coffee grinds sliding off the top and onto the floor with a big SPLAT. Yuck. The water was still running in the coffee pot, which was sitting in the sink. Clearly this situation was getting out of hand. I grabbed the broken bottle from the bottom of the can and brought it to the sink to dump the rest. Unfortunately some of the broken glass came apart and fell down into the garbage disposal. Double yuck. FINALLY I got the garbage disposal cleaned out, got the coffee grounds off the floor, got the new trash bag in the now cleaned out can (ALMOST spilling the bag of cat food that was in the way of the garbage bags) and washed my hands, ready to get on with making the coffee. I opened the cabinet door and was presented with a plethora of flavors. Hmmm which should it be. Holiday blend? Gingerbread? In keeping with today's plan of getting things back to normal (i.e. putting away all the Christmas stuff) I decided to go with just plain Maxwell house. I reached farther back in for the filters. NO WAY! Out of filters? You have got to be kidding me. After all that? Grrr...