Satisfaction

I knew it was going to be a long, long week. I looked at the schedule in front of me and just plain old didn't know how I was going to get through it all. Most weeks I might have a couple of days I need to do something, or go somewhere, but this week, for some reason was off the charts. I said a quick prayer that the Lord would help me through each day, and looked ahead to the moment, a whole week away from now, that I would be able to plop down in my chair and know we had made it through. 

Monday we had to drive to the Dallas VA for the Mr.'s liver fibroscan. This is a two hour trip, each way, depending on traffic. 

Tuesday I had to take Frankie to the vet, because he developed some kind of bump on his chin. 

I also had to pick up my Aunt and bring her to my house, because she was having surgery the next morning, and I was taking her. 

So Wednesday I had to get up at five AM and be at the hospital by seven fifteen. This was going to be a very long day, because of course I wasn't going to just leave her there. I would wait for the surgery to be over and she was comfortable before I came home. 

Thursday I thankfully had a day to breathe. Auntie's friend would be taking her home from the hospital. Friday we would be having a sleepover with the girls that would last through Sunday evening. 

And Sunday, overlapping with the girl's visit, we would be attending a ceremony honoring my father and all of the others interred during the year at the cemetery he was buried in. 

Also Ally was planning on using the kitchen to make a cake on Saturday and having a sleepover for her friend's birthday, at our house. 

So Monday we did make it to the doc appointment for the fibro scan, and the results were not what we hoped. We knew it wasn't good when they called us right after the test with the results. It seems his liver is in danger, and we need some lifestyle changes. We have just been eating too many fatty foods, and too many processed foods. Fortunately we realized this three weeks ago and had already taken steps to change things. We are on what's called the RAD diet, or Rare Adipose Disorder diet, and the Mr. has lost 12 pounds. I have lost ten, which is a miracle for me. 

This diet lives up to it's name. It is pretty radical. But it's what we needed to do. There are no processed foods, no dairy, no sugar, no gluten, and no seed oils, other than avocado and olive. And maybe coconut oil. It consists of vegetables, fruits, limiting red meat and chicken, and when we do have it, it must be organic and grass fed, to avoid the hormones and the corn. Corn is not on the menu. It is heavy on the fish, similar to the Mediterranean diet, which does not make the Mr. happy. I also changed my soap to ivory and stopped using fragrance on my skin. All of that causes inflammation. My goal is to reduce inflammation. 

And it's remarkable how much better both the Mr. and I feel. I haven't had cheese, other than parmesan, feta (watching the salt) and some laughing cow, in a month. Well, full disclosure, I have allowed myself a couple of mozzarella cheese sticks, and a small amount of cheddar on my bunless burger. But considering that I used to eat primarily cheese, I would say that is pretty good. The tough thing has been salad dressing. I just can't eat salad without dressing. Almost every single dressing is made with soybean or palm oil, and so is mayo, the one other thing besides cheese that I can't live without. We have searched far and wide for a salad dressing made with avocado oil, and we finally tracked some down at Target. It's pricey, at five dollars for a small bottle, but it's worth it, in my opinion. The Mayo is a different story. I love Hellman's. I adore Hellman's, although Sean of the South (click the link) might disagree with me. But it has bad inflammatory seed oil in it. I considered changing to Hellman's with olive oil, and so I looked up the ingredients and was appalled to find out it's all a lie. Hellman's with olive oil is primarily made up of soybean oil with an addition of potato starch. Potatoes are also off the menu, sadly, and so is their starch. There is olive oil in it, but it's way down on the ingredient list.

So I decided to allow myself the mayo. It's my one concession and I don't eat too much of it, maybe a tablespoon when we have a burger. 

But I have digressed way away from the subject. 

We were in a funk all the rest of Monday about the scan results. That liver is precious. We want to take as good care of it as possible, especially after all we went through to get it. 

Tuesday I was up with Frankie at the vet bright and early. Turns out he just had some teen age acne. Nothing to worry about. He has gained a pound and needs some dental prevention in the form of a powder that I can buy from Amazon. Who's a good boy? 

I picked up my Auntie and we had a nice visit. We went to bed early and were up and at the hospital on time Wednesday morning. The surgery went very well. They were able to repair all that needed repairing and I spent the time in the waiting room talking to her two best friends who were also waiting for her to come out of recovery. All in all that was the longest day, I would say. I left home at six and didn't get back home until six. I was so hungry that I actually bought and ate a Greek salad from the hospital Cafe and I didn't even care that it had the hated vinaigrette dressing on it. 

The next day I just sat in my chair. Pooped. So tired. I knew I needed to rest up because the weekend was yet to be gotten through and it was going to be a long one. 

Friday afternoon we picked up the girls from school and headed home. I had told the girls that the next time they came over (which was now) that I was going to teach them how to make bracelets. Real ones, with real charms, not the plastic stuff you get from Walmart. So I actually went to Walmart and picked up some supplies, more pliers and more charms, ironically, plastic after all, and I was ready for them. I had bought a whole container of round connectors, which Claire immediately started to pour out on the table. I quickly stemmed the flow of tiny metal rings escaping the plastic container and then measuring the girl's wrists, cut off the appropriate amount of chain, not too big, not too small, to fit their arms. 

Then I got out the charms and told them they could pick five. Of course they didn't pick five and that was ok. I showed them how to use the tools and how to attach the connectors for the toggles and the charms and they were off. Claire needed a little more help, but she totally understood what she was doing. Arya didn't need much help at all, just needed me to check that the rings were closed so the  charms wouldn't fall off. 

By the end of the hour the office/art room was a mess. There were rings and charms and chains everywhere, tools lying about, and happy hearts. Both girls finished with a bracelet that they themselves made and they were very proud of themselves. 

Until bedtime. That was when Arya realized that one of her special stuffies, the one she loves the most, had not made it over with the suitcases. She began to cry and cry and cry. She was so upset she was almost making herself sick. I tried to talk with her, tried to reason with her. She was determined that she could not, would not sleep without it. In a dramatic fashion she laid down on the floor with no blanket and no pillow and swore she would never be comfortable again. 

I guess I could have gone over to their house and gotten it. They don't live far away. But I was so tired. And I knew she would be Ok in the end. And she was. But I did promise her that we would go get it the next day. 

Saturday arrived much too soon. I was still groggy when Arya awoke at six AM, her usual wake time, but not mine. The Mr. and I had decided that we would either take them to the carnival or to the skating rink today. We dithered, asked the girls what they wanted to do, and it was, of course, a split decision. Claire wanted the carnival, Arya wanted to skate. 

So I made them a deal, which I'm sure I will be writing about at some future point. 

Today we would go to the carnival, since it was only in town right now, and next time we would go skating. They were happy with that. So we went to the carnival! And it was the right choice. They had a fabulous time! Immediately upon entry, Arya saw the giant Conquistador Six Flags type boat and wanted to ride it. This is the same Arya who will not ride the zip line at Urban Air. I was dubious. I was sure she would not be able to handle that. So I told her we would do some other rides and if she still wanted to go on the boat before we left, she could do it. So we rode the rides, had a blast on the bumper cars, did the hall of mirrors, rode the carousel, the spinning dinosaurs, and the girls had their faces painted. They had lemonade and cotton candy, and then we decided it was time to go. But there was still that boat. Arya was sure could handle it. She is nine years old, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I sat on the bench and the Mr. went in with her. They got in and took the back seat, where the centrifugal force is the highest. I was sure she would be sick, but she loved it! However, upon exiting the ride, I saw that the Mr.'s face was green and he was sick the rest of the afternoon. 

We got a bite to eat and headed home, tired and hot, but with lots of smiles from the girls. 

The house was full. Ally had arrived back home from the birthday party with her friends and they had set up shop in the living room. The weather was looking suspiciously dark, and I hoped we wouldn't all have to squeeze into the tiny shelter we have under the stairs for emergencies. There were eight of us in the house. However the weather passed us by and all was well. As dark approached I realized we needed to go get that toy if we were going to have a peaceful night. I let Arya ride in the front seat so we could talk. I told her that the toy didn't have the power to give her good sleep. Only Jesus could do that. As I spoke though, I was gently reminded in my own spirit, that I myself had had a stuffy, two of them, in fact, until I was twelve or thirteen. I never slept without my Circus pillow and my Hunny the Bunny,  and was distraught if I didn't have them. I remembered what it is to be nine years old and scared. I wished, in retrospect that I had lightened up and taken her to get her stuffy the night before. Sometimes we have to step out of our grown up world and remember what it was like to be a kid. 

Sunday morning and we were almost late to church, because I couldn't find my phone. It was time to go and it was nowhere to be found, and also because I couldn't find the top I had been planning to wear with my new pants. I knew it was in the drawer, I had seen it yesterday. I took everything out of the drawers, irritated at myself and in a hurry. I never found it. I was still ruminating about it as I came downstairs and saw Ally on the couch...I stopped in my tracks and narrowing my eyes, I said to her Did you, by any chance get into my drawer and take a tank top? With lace and spaghetti straps? She looked at me sheepishly. Yes. Well where is it? I need it to wear to church? I'm wearing it she said, and sure enough she was, under her blouse. And that was that. I had to wear something else and I still couldn't find the phone. But at least I knew I wasn't crazy, because I was beginning to wonder about myself.  That top had been in my drawer, after all. 

But we got to church on time, barely, had the service, and then had to rush out, to get home , because we were leaving again, to go to another church, this time a memorial service for Dad. 

I still didn't find the phone. Quickly I fed the girls and we were out the door and on the way to the next service. This was a tiny country church in the middle of nowhere, with the beautiful graveyard sprawling out behind, trees, and birds, and no sounds of city life, anywhere. The church was built in the early part of the nineteenth century and had lovely stained glass windows and all kinds of beautiful woodwork. It felt like time slowed down as we opened the old wooden doors and entered and  found a pew. They had already started. Matt was there waiting for us. We slid in quietly and turned our eyes to the speaker. I have to say the girls behavior was phenomenal. I didn't realize this was going to be a full on church service. I thought it would be a quick speech, a candle lighting, maybe calling out the names of the dead, and we would go home. But no, the preacher preached, the singer sang a couple of specials, the hymnals were opened, a history was spoken of the founder of the cemetery society, an offering was taken, a benediction was given and then finally the candles were lit. The names were called. My dad was almost at the end, as his death was so recent. There were roses given, and bells were rung. And then refreshments. I am not sorry to say I had a cookie and a piece of fudge, diet be darned. I needed some chocolate desperately. The girls picked four cookies and some punch and I didn't say a word. They had certainly earned it. Then we sat and chatted. I happened to know the lady I was sitting across from, had known her for many, many years, although she couldn't place me at first. She was Charlie's daughter. I haven't spoken of Charlie much on here, but he was an old family friend, someone I have known since the early seventies, photographer at my wedding, now long since passed, and actually buried in this very cemetery. 

We had a nice visit and then we headed home to find my phone. 

And to get the girls ready to go home. 

We dropped them off with Mom and Dad when we got back and then I came in and gathered all their things. I gave the house a quick clean. Ally's friends were gone, and she was back at college. The place was quiet. I reflected on the weekend as I tidied. Arya riding the big boat ride was the equivalent, in my opinion, of the zip line at Urban Air. I wouldn't be worrying so much about her fears anymore. That girl is going to be juuuust fine. And I reflected about the stuffy toy. I made a resolve to listen more and remember what it's like to be nine and seven, and act accordingly. I smiled to myself as I washed the dishes and swept the floor. There was such a deep well of satisfaction in my soul. We had really enjoyed our time with the girls, and they really seemed to enjoy being with us. Everything had really, really gone spectacularly well, other than the stuffy business. 

And finally, after dropping off the girl's suitcases, I plopped down in my chair and closed my eyes and just rested. And then got out my phone to read the news of the day. Turns out I had put it in the pocket of my robe when I took the dog out first thing that morning, and then hung the robe in the closet. The battery was dead, so calling it hadn't helped. But we had worked out on the way to the memorial that that was the only place it could be. And so it was.