Think on These Things

Sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace. Usually this would be a good time for reflection. The hissing of the gas, and the on and off warmth coming from the hearth has been known to put me to sleep. But not tonight.
I'm frustrated. The pilot keeps going out. It's the coldest night of the year, thus far, and I need this fireplace to work.
It's also New Year's Eve.
Last day of the year. I just want things to go well. For this year to end well. And not in tears.
But here they come, anyway.
I brush them away, angrily. This was not what I wanted.
But it isn't the fireplace. It's everything. It's been a trying week. The fireplace is just the cherry on top. The Mr. and I have had some differences this week. He is sick with flu. Ally is sick with flu. The baby has been sick with the flu. We are waiting on job people to call back. The truck battery is dead. The dryer is dead. And it's cold. Not South Dakota cold, but still cold.
These are shadowed days. Things seem to be going wrong from every direction. I hear God tell me two things. One is Keep your eyes on me. I tend to lose sight of what's important and get lost in the daily struggle. The other is more difficult. I ask him to end all this misery. He can, you know. But He doesn't. He just whispers to my soul My Grace is sufficient for you. But, Lord...My Grace...
We go in circles, the Lord and I. I keep forgetting who's in charge. He keeps reminding me.
I really want to do things God's way. My weak, weak flesh keeps getting in the way. I don't like being cold. Or taking care of sick people. Or unemployment. Seems like some days all I do is complain. I catch myself and stop for awhile and then I'm off again on another rant.
So for a change I'm going to put down some things I'm grateful for, and think on those things.
I will start with the HOUSE...since I just called it stupid and crappy.
It isn't everyone's forte. And it's falling apart. But I love the old place. I dream of the day I will be able to fix it all. It will be beautiful and everything will be working. No more leaks, no more patchy paint jobs, no more yucky carpet. I love the way the yard is coming together, especially in the summer, when the garden is going strong, and all the Cannas are in bloom. I sit out on the patio in the morning and just soak in the sun. It's quiet. My kids have grown up here, and every nook and cranny is filled with memories of their growing up years. Birthday parties, Christmases past, prom pictures taken in front of the fireplace and stairwell and in the back yard. All the first day of school pics taken on the porch, and Halloween pictures, too. Those are the things I love about this place.
FAMILY of course. They get on my nerves like no tomorrow, but I'm thankful they are here with me. I am more blessed than most. I see my granddaughter every single day, and she and Katie and Jeff are just down the road. Katie is working here in town, so she doesn't have to drive, anymore. That's a big THANK YOU. Huge. Matt and Ally are both working. Excellent thing. Another plus.
My PARENTS. They are all doing OK. Dad and Jo lost everything in Harvey, and barely got away with their lives. I mean there was literally nowhere left to go to get away from the water. But they are here, have a new home, three hours closer, and are making a new start. I'm excited for them, and can't wait to see the new homestead. Excited for Mom, too, as she is about to be featured in a newspaper article in Colorado. Exciting times for my parents.
My BIRTHDAY.  This is IT. The Big one. Half a century old! Never imagined myself at fifty. But I'm grateful to be here. This really is the best time of my life, so far. I have a grandchild that I adore, my kids are here, we are happy. Well most of the time. Ok, well, some of the time. Enough of the time that life is enjoyable. And that's something in this day and age.
My many SISTERS. I need them all. They are all facets in one big diamond of a family. All with different ways of seeing things, all with different senses of humor, all with different gifts and abilities. I couldn't get along without any of them.
My JESUS. He is the under girding of all of this. He is my support, my rock, my foundation. When it all comes crashing down around me I'm not swept away, although I might get a little whiny. The older I get the more I find the truth of Him. The more I am persuaded that He is a Good Good Father, despite what life has to throw at me.
So there you have it. The Bible says to think on the things that are lovely. These are some of those things. And I finally got the fireplace to stay on. All it needed was a really good cleaning, apparently. I'm relieved. Warmth is a pretty lovely thing, and I don't take it for granted.
45 minutes til the New Year. Guess I'd better break out the bubbly. The Martinelli's Sparkling Cider, that is. Time to celebrate! Happy New Year!