Fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts. Anybody out there having any or all three of these things settling on you? Anxiety you seem unable to shake? disturbing or churning irritations that you can't get off your mind? Anybody out there morally conflicted? And by morally conflicted, I mean, you know right from wrong. You know exactly what you need to do,..yet somehow you keep finding yourself on that path that leads away from peace...away from grace...away from God?
I will be honest. I have been all three this week. My anxieties seem multiply like little Gremlins in a bathtub full of water. Agitating thoughts churn around in my heart like soapy water in an empty washing machine. I have been morally conflicted in that I have been hurt this week, Word knives have sliced me and diced me to the bone. I want to fight back. Use my angry words to make myself feel better. The Lord says No. That is not My way.
I hear Him, The agitation and the conflict die down but the anxiety holds me hostage. I pace the floor in the self imposed prison of my mind. Back and forth I go. I bang on the bars. I shout until I am hoarse, to the Heavens. Does He hear me?
Will I ever get over this never ending war with anxiety? I am bipolar with it, one day flying above the storm, sure things are going to be all right, and the next day will find me firmly back behind the bars of my worry. I am tired of this double life.
Accidentally, (it seems) I come across some things in scripture that blow my pretty pink striped socks off. I read an interesting tidbit from Jews for Jesus from the book of Isaiah, chapter 22. I furrow my brows in puzzlement. It is speaking of a man from the old Testament, a wicked finance minister to the king named Shebna. Shebna is about to be deposed and replaced by a man named Eliakim.
"And on that day, (says the Lord) I'll replace Shebna. I will call my servant, Eliakim, son of Hilkiah, I'll dress him in your robe, I'll put your belt on him. I'll give him your authority. He'll be a father-leader to Jerusalem and to Judah. I'll give him the key of the Davidic Heritage. He'll have the run of the place-open any door and keep it open, lock any door and keep it locked.
The Davidic Key? What is THAT? There is a reference to another scripture here. I go there. It's in Revelation, chapter 3, one of the seven letters to the churches. This one is to the church in Philadelphia.
"Write this to Philadelphia. To the Angel of the church. The Holy, the True-David's key in his hand, opening doors no one can lock, locking doors no one can open--speaks."
How can it be that I have been reading my Bible for almost forty years and I have never seen these words? Opening doors no one can lock and locking doors no one can open? I don't remember reading about a Key of David. How could I miss such a great thing? This obviously refers to Jesus as having all power and authority on Heaven and Earth. But Jesus having keys? Who knew?
Still not quite sure how it all fits together, I went back to the scripture about Eliakim. Then I did what I always do when I have questions about things, I googled. I read several commentaries. My mouth dropped open when I read that the name Eliakim (and bear in mind that names always mean something in Scripture) means Resurrection of God. Wow. Just wow.
In the Old Testament there are several people who are Christ Shadows, or Christ prototypes. One being Melchizidek (My King of Righteousness), a high priest and king in the book of Genesis. This Eliakim, son of Hilkiah (Yaweh is my portion) seems to be another. I read both passages again. They are both about Christ. This is getting interesting!
About that time I get a phone call from a friend. She starts telling me about her own Bible reading for the morning. She is reading something completely different than I am. I allow myself to be immersed in her story for a bit and put mine on the back burner. She is reading to me from John, chapter 8. Jesus is talking to the Pharisees. They are arguing about whether they belong to Abraham or not. He has just told them that the truth would set them free. They are indignant. Free? Aren't they already free? And there is no question about Abraham Of course they belong to Abraham! Jesus sets them straight. "I tell you most solemnly, that anyone who chooses a life of sin, is trapped in a dead end life, and is in fact, a slave. A slave is a transient, who can't come and go at will. The Son, though, has an established position, the run of the house. So if the Son sets you are free, you are free through and through. I didn't think much more about that verse. I have heard it a hundred times. My friend and I hung up. But a little bell was ringing deep inside. On the verge of closing my Bible, I re read it. The run of the house...Wait...haven't I heard that phrase before? I sat down, now thoroughly intrigued. I went back to that chapter in Isaiah and read it again. "I'll give him the key of the Davidic Heritage...the run of the place...open any door and keep it open, lock any door and keep it locked...
I realized with a jolt, that my friend's morning Bible study, and my own morning Bible study had intersected, with Jesus right there at the crossroads dangling a set of God given keys!
How awesome is that? Not something that happens every day, let me tell you.
I have been thinking about this a lot the last couple of days. I think to myself if only I could get to the place where I really don't worry, most of the time...Is that possible? To know that no matter what it looks like, God has the situation in hand? To know that if it isn't working out the way I planned, that God must have another plan, and take comfort in that? How can I get to that place? Where things don't work out and I don't freak out? Instead I just look to the Heavens and say "Yes, Lord, Your will be done." And then move on. That place where I acknowledge that His plan is not just a good plan, but it's the best plan and trust Him in it, despite what it looks like at that moment....That is where I want to rest.
And that's where Jesus and those keys come in. He leans down. He whispers to me through the pages of His word If I set you free, you are free indeed...
And I run with that...but sometimes I find that freedom is a moment by moment thing. Meaning that sometimes I have to choose to believe one moment at a time. I start to falter and have to take a step back. I make a conscious effort to believe right now that God will deliver. Not that he will deliver me from whatever fiery trial I seem to be enduring right this second, but right this second I am going to choose to believe that He holds the future. And the next second...and the next. That is the practical application of the freedom He gives me. Not just words, but belief in action.
I looked up the word believe. Meaning to accept or regard something as true, it is part of a trio of words all coming from the same Greek root, along with faith and trust. .
Belief...faith...and trust. Here's how it works.
He draws us toward him. When He draws us, we believe...with that belief He imparts faith...we use that faith to exercise trust...Our trust is justified, or proven, when He acts on our behalf..,our faith increases...He draws us even closer...and our belief and trust deepen. A never ending circle of His divine love and care, setting us free from worry, anxiety...depression...anger...sadness...hatred...
addictions...words that have wounded...all of these things are a never ending circle that suck us down, down, down.
I don't want to go there anymore. I have spent enough time there, circling around in a whirlpool of perpetual defeat.
I got my "Get out of Jail Free" card and I'm gonna use it.
I don't belong here anymore. Somebody unlocked my cell door. With His Keys. And paid the debt for my crimes. With His Blood.
As if that wasn't enough, he handed me my own set of keys, too. And said You will have complete and free access to God's kingdom. Keys to open any and every door. (Matt 16 vs 19) Whoa Nellie! The run of the house? Really? You bet.
I am out of here and never looking back.
Christ has set us free so that we can live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery (bondage) on you. Galatians 5:1.
1 comment:
Very powerful. Thanks
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