Sunday, January 6, 2013

Stupid TV


I stayed up way too late last night watching stupid tv.  I swore after overcoming my tv addiction a few years ago I would never again be held hostage by stupid tv, and yet here I was, at two in the morning watching some awful eighties horror movie about a missing diamond everybody was killing everybody else on the show for, because everybody thought everybody else had it, when all along it was in the artificial eyeball of the guy who died and was buried in the beginning of the show (Raymond). The hero of the show turned out to be a bad guy, who locked a woman in the casket with the dead guy whose eye he just dug out, and I was so disgusted I had to change the channel. I was even more disgusted when I turned it back a minute later and found I had missed the climax of the movie where the hero/bad guy gets killed, and the woman who has been stalked through the whole movie (and the girlfriend of the hero/badguy) is standing over him with the eyeball screaming DAMN YOU RAYMOND! at the top her lungs to the sky.Then she reached down and laid her coat over the dead guy and walked away with the eyeball and the movie ended.  I was left with many questions over that missed minute. How did he die? what happened to the woman he was trying to shut in the casket with the dead guy, after I changed the channel? How did Laura (the girlfriend) get to the graveyard? Would the police think she had locked the other woman in the casket and killed the boyfriend? And how would she explain the eyeball she had in her hand?

Well at least it gets an A+ for creative ways to die. I don't know how Raymond died (missed the beginning) but almost nobody just gets shot or drowned in this movie. One person gets killed with a heavy barbell across her neck, one person gets a sword in the throat (horrible. I actually screamed and woke up Alyssa), One lady gets strangled with a rosary, one person gets thrown in the water and a stick in his throat by the hero/bad guy...hmmm seeing a theme here...One guy gets shot, and then of course there is the woman in the casket. I'm not sure what happened to hero/bad guy. I just saw him dead, laying on the ground above the hole he dug to get to the dead guy. So sad... Looked like he was just about to get away with the eyeball/diamond, too. 

Any thoughts? Why ARE we so addicted to the boobtube? 

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